Flying With Red Haircrow Productions

"Revitalization and Resurgence"

Tag: gay interest

Global Ebook Awards 2013, Best LGBT Fiction: “The Agony of Joy” by Red Haircrow

2013 GLOBAL EBOOK AWARD WINNER: BEST LGBT FICTION

“From London to Berlin, to the frozen seas of far east Russia, this is an unforgettable journey of rebirth, revelation and redemption as two men struggle to overcome their separate past agonies and allow themselves to experience friendship and love.”

It’s one of those things…well, it’s one of those things I never actively think of: winning an award, but I know what The Agony of Joy meant to me. It’s fiction, but it’s also my story in that it is based on real life situations I’ve dealt with (and still do in some ways) and what others close to me have experienced. Being a child abuse survivor, devastatingly losing a beloved to suicide, parental distance and strife.

It took me almost ten years to complete, from beginning to end, because it is a very vividly realized novel, which can have “triggers” for survivors like me. Triggers refers to those phrases, suggestions, scenes or dialogue that “trigger” memories of abuse or some other traumatic episode, but my point wasn’t to force that: it was simply to present the reality we live with every single day.

The moments we have to fight through when others are oblivious, just to keep going: to keep walking, to keep working, to go about daily activities. Sometimes it is excruciating physically, mentally and emotionally, but we go on because that’s what we know to do, and because those ones who hurt us didn’t ultimately break our hope or belief in goodness or in trying to do good for others because that is what helps us keep living.

There’s an anonymous saying: “Always be kinder than necessary. You never know what someone is going through.” That is CANON. Too few people ever consider such a thing, only thinking of themselves, their own needs and wants for even the most minor thing.

Almost ten years. I had to take a hiatus from writing AofJ because my own memories were close to overwhelming me at times. Like the character Adrian Lee also, the family divide because of choices and sexuality, the disrespectful and insulting treatment hurled my way was tearing me down. But I completed the book eventually.

And then you submit your book. And you receive replies like:

“This is ordinary….”

“This didn’t grab me….”

“This is too unreal, unbelievable….”

When it was my life. It was the life of men I’ve known, loved, and some of whom are now dead because the crushing disappointment  of being dismissed, disbelieved or disrespected became too much for them. Most of the scenes/locations in the novel are based on actual places, restaurants, places I’ve lived and explored.

I believed in this work. It was a complete labor of love, hard fought and won. I didn’t let the literal couple of hundred of rejections get me down, but I also didn’t go with a couple of acceptances as the understanding of what the novel is was important for the story and for me. I knew it was a story I had to tell because it was important not only for me, but for millions of others who have lived or are living in such situations regardless of social status, religion or belief system, ethnicity, nationality, sexuality, etc.

No, awards aren’t everything. There are many great books out there that don’t get the attention they deserve. This award was important for me because I know publishers, especially traditional ones, are very dismissive, often editors only go by their own whims or reading tastes, and what they THINK readers want. I’m glad the judges of this award were more objective and recognized Agony for what I tried my damndest to present just as it had been lived.

My latest interview for this novel was at the AuthorQuiz website, where you can read more details about its writing and background. The book trailer is below. It was first published at Smashwords, and is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo and other online distributors.

Other of my posts about The Agony of Joy:

Description: “Former model turned actor Adrian Lee can barely list age range ’23-29′ on his resumé anymore nor stand his life of empty social events and appearances, meaningless roles and casual partners. When he meets Alexander Skizetsky by clever arrangement of his agent, the enigmatic yet infinitely attractive Russian kindles a little light of hope in his aching heart. Yet even the beginnings of a friendship and love beyond his wildest dreams cannot assuage a life spiraling out of control.

The long estrangement from his devout Irish Catholic parents and family and the dark secrets they all share combine to drive him to the brink of despair, though Alexander is determined to stay by his side. After locking away his own memories of betrayal and loss, the Russian had decided never to love again but something in Adrian spurs the noblest intentions in his formerly jaded heart. Returning in pilgrimage to his homeland, he brings Adrian along on a journey of rebirth, revelation and redemption.”

Book Launch: September 12, 2012 “The Runaway” by Nephylim, From Flying With Red Haircrow

Upcoming Event: Chat With Nephylim & Red Haircrow at Love Romances Café on September 6, 2012 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/

 

 

“When all you ever wished for is the last thing you ever wanted….”

Description: “Cierrai is running away from a past that’s still breathing down his neck. Jack has no past, his memory wiped in the accident that killed his parents. They meet and their lives move forward like stones skimming the surface of the water, dipping into memories that want to surface and those that want to lie buried forever.

Together, they struggle to come to terms with what happened in the past and where they want to go in the future, but can Jack cope with a man who likes to dress in leather mini-skirts and silk kimonos? Can Cierrai trust Jack with the secrets of his past; secrets he can’t escape, secrets that are snapping at his heels?

When those secrets catch up, forcing Cierrai back to the life he’d left, a life that was slowly draining his life away, he and Jack’s love is both threatened and tested by forces from without and within.”

About The Author:

 

Born into a poor but loving mining family in the United Kingdom, Nephylim grew up in the beautiful and history rich South Wales Valleys, becoming the first in her family to attend university. As a lawyer practicing Family Law for several years, the profession allowed Nephylim to learn more about human nature at its worst and best moments, and develop empathy and a view of life not limited by social standing or background.

Tapping into the heritage of her people that throughout Earth’s ages welcomed the wandering bard into the hearts of their villages as keepers of lore, Nephylim trained as a Druid and brings the richness of her Celtic past and spiritual training to enrich and elevate her writing. Since a child Nephylim has been fascinated with other worlds, which exist within and alongside her own and has reveled in creating worlds and characters for others to enjoy.

Despite lack of family support, Nephylim continued writing privately and eventually found the Gay Authors website. With the positive response and a warm welcome received, she found the confidence to pursue her passion to a greater degree. Feeling gay fiction was a woefully neglected corner of the market where readers were all too often presented with what amounted to erotica, Nephylim strives to write quality gay fiction where sex and sexuality is not the central premise. Instead, concentration is given to character and narrative development through storytelling that goes beyond the physical.

Nephylim still resides in Wales, UK, and enjoys writing, reading, art, and taking part in medieval reenactments.

Author Links:

http://nephylim-author.blogspot.com/

http://shadowofthefallen.co.uk

https://www.facebook.com/Nephylim.author

Interviews with the author:

By Brandon Shire

At Rising Up From the Ashes by Phoenix

By Michael Offut

Dawn’s Reading Nook

Other works by the author at Flying With Red Haircrow:

Enigma, Book 1

Fighting the Man, Enigma Book 2

Contact:

If you are interested in a review copy for your website, wish to schedule an interview with the author or wish general information about this release or press, please write Nephylim at chakira@hotmail.co.uk or Red Haircrow theredhairedcrow@gmail.com.

Book Trailer for “Silence Is Multi-Colored In My World”

First posted on 16 July, 2012: this is the video description of a biography written in memoir style of a courageous young deaf man, the compilations of notes, journal entries and essays, as well as my observations of a person I felt the personification of beautiful. Of the ability to create light from darkness, joy from pain. For more details, description and an excerpt, please visit its page on GLBT Bookshelf, Silence, and for a great review of the work at The LL Book Review.

I first heard the song “Midnight” by Minako Obata, when it was the end theme in an episode of the anime, “Black Lagoon.” I was riveted in place, and found it unforgettable, just like G.Y.S. The acapella arrangement is lovely, haunting, with a bittersweet sadness that also reminds me of him. He couldn’t have heard it, but he could have felt it.

As  I wrote in more detail in my previous author’s note: “He lived most of his life in or near Berlin in Germany. Whether by train, bus or foot sometimes when I am wandering through the countryside or city, through the many parks or shopping arcades filled with people and I happen to see a tall, slim person with long reddish hair: I have a little pain inside me.

It stops me in place because I think of him. If the person is moving away from me, sometimes I wish it were him somehow, still alive, still touchable in the physical sense. I want to imagine he is alive and loved by someone even if it is not myself, he, my special phantom of the city. It is hard to accept sometimes that so vibrant a soul is now gone from this world, but I believe I will see him again one day.”

This photo used in my video is one I took at Scharmützelsee, where he also used to walk, as I still do as often as possible. Other photo journals I’ve made in Germany can be found in this entry on Songs of the Universal Vagabond.

Lyrics:

“Someday I want to run away
To the world of midnight
Where the darkness fill the air
Where it’s icy cold

Where nobody has a name
Where living is not a game
There, I can hide my broken heart
Dying to survive

There, no one can see me cry
The tears of my lonely soul
I’ll find peace of mind
In the dark and cold world of midnight.”